whiteness check (31 may)

i just moved back to the u.s. to south seattle, more specifically by seward park. in this city, i have always lived in the northern sections: the u district, bell town, greenlake, fremont, greenwood; all very yuppie areas of the city. hell, i'm even semi-yuppie myself, though i'm not particularly "professional" per say. these are also all very white areas of the city.

as part of my white privilege, i've rarely had to acknowledge my whiteness, especially while i lived in comfortably WASP neighborhoods (or the northern suburbs of the city). i use "comfortably" because, to be honest, it *is* quite comfortable to completely forget about the construction and implications of race for the vast majority of one's time in a place. i could go through weeks here in seattle without ever having my whiteness brought to my attention. i was *never* the lone white girl (with a few chosen exceptions). i always found it easy (though not intentional) to be surrounded by people who looked similar to me. it's not that people of color didn't exist in my life here; it's that they were always the minority, not me.

now as i ride my bike from my apartment to lake washington, through the I-90 bike tunnel, and along rainier, i often encounter just as many, if not more, people of color (particularly african americans) as white people. what a change. i am reminded that i am white on a daily basis, and become aware of the consequences of that fact--both good and bad. i can't help but feel that i'm trespassing a bit. am i part of the gentrification of the surroundings of the rainier valley? how am i perceived by people of color while i smile or say 'hi' as i ride by? am i overcompensating by trying to be even friendlier? did i always sound so awkward?