forget long legs.... it's all about the long torso

just type in "long legs" in google's image search and you'll find millions of "sexy" photos of women striking awkward poses highlighting how disproportionately long their legs are when compared to their delicately petite midriffs. i get it: long legs are hot. but, i have to disagree. it's all about the torso, folks.

while doing my pregnancy yoga over the last couple of months, i realized that some of my poses didn't quite look the same as the 7 monther in the video. namely, my arms seemed shorter than they should be. no big deal, short arms is better than their opposite. "long arms" gives an insta-freak show in google images, unlike a search of other disproportionate appendages. (legs, people. don't put your mind in the gutter.) i didn't really give it a second thought as i proceeded through the stretching and breathing excercises that emphasized fully expanding your ribs with each breath (because your diaphram movement is increasingly restricted by the human growing inside you). i also didn't think much of the fact that i haven't really had much of a difficult time breathing. sure, i'm not exactly in marathon shape here, but i'm not fainting either.

and then, today, as my midwife asked the usual questions (are your hands and feet swollen? not yet. are you having trouble breathing? still no. are you drinking your litre of raspberry leaf tea every day? yes, ma'am.) and then proceeded to measure simone's life sack, she put all the pieces together for me: i am gifted with a long torso.

that's right. gifted.

see, while people get breathless over long legs and mini torsos of the models of today, i get to relish in my ability to breath whilst pregnant! i don't have short arms, i have a flawlessly functioning midsection that can digest and grow new life at the same time!

now, how did eons of human evolution miss this sexy trait? wide hips are valued (within reason), presumably for their ability to allow passage of baby heads. just try "hips" and get innumerable shots of shakira and other women with tiny waists and voluptuously round hips. (because apparently google images is the final word in how we as a society view physical traits....)

but long torsos? denied the spotlight they truly deserve. instead, they are destined to be hidden with the "magic" of tankinis and other clothing that supposedly breaks up and visually minimizes an overgrown thorax.

i say, wear your lengthy torso with pride. rock low rise pants dangling dangerously low on your womanly hips with a tiny little shrug sweater to excentuate how much cool stuff you can fit in your yards of abdomen, like lungs and babies and varying sizes of intestines.