somehow during the last week or so, i developed a fatalistic view on life. perhaps it was while reading the incredibly uplifting online articles on late pregnancy. sites that previously painted all things pregnant with a delicate pink brush portraying images of little glowing fetuses with adorable sprouting eyelashes and tiny fingernails laced with magical tinker bell dust have changed their tones dramatically. since about 36 weeks, all is doom and gloom of being a waddling, digestive retard incapable of proper body functioning who would just as soon snort ground wasabi than continue with the nonsense of pregnancy. here are a few highlights:
Week 38. "You may be feeling huge and uncomfortable during these final weeks. Try to take it easy -- this may be your last opportunity to do so for quite a while."
ah--there it is: your last opportunity. i've been struggling to figure out which last opportunity is the most important last opportunity to accomplish before the apocalypse. should i ensure all is clean and tidy? should i sleep for that 11th hour? (apparently in addition to digesting and breathing, i can also sleep pretty well during this whole ordeal, too.) should i see as many friends as possible? should i do absolutely nothing? should i craft? should i read a book? should i get belligerently drunk? (wait...i already missed my chance for that. shit, i can't let another opportunity slip by. must. stay. vigilent.) oh, i just don't know which to do first, and the cataclysm could happen at any minute! ohmigod.
but, whenever one of these thoughts sneaks in my head, i can't help but laugh. come on, internets. things may change over the next couple of weeks, but life as we know it likely won't come to a complete end. right?!? but, what if it were?! ohmigod. i totally have to spend my last minutes doing everything and nothing at the same time or i will never forgive myself.
so, what's been on the list?
wash windows, inside and out; take off and scrub screens. check!
listen to democracy now to stay informed before closing my center of knowledge to the confines of my home and yard. check!
finish sewing borrowed bassinet cover. check!
do daily yoga. check!
read the economist's simplified take on the state of affairs in central america that suggests legalizing drugs. check!
ride bike/trike around city during super sunny day, ensuring second degree burn on chest. check!
take photos to show baby how cool her parents were before apocalypse. check!
unintentionally coordinate my attire with that of baby's daddy. check!
prove to blog readers that i did complete my winter bike plans, flawlessly. check!
match saddle color to respective rider's hair. check!
watch yet another melodramatic episode of the good wife. check! (only one to go!)
score "new" duds at clothing swap, hoping i correctly guessed my summer body type. check!
now i just have to make a cast of the gigundousness that is my tummy and get my mom here. then, world disorder can begin.
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